You do it from love. Create a thought like, "I know this might be frightening for my parents because they love me and they love the church. If they respond negatively, it's because of their love for me and fear for me. They don't have to understand or even approve. That's my job. If I feel like I need to show my faith differently right now, I need to love myself through this and let myself heal, and find Christ in the healing. Your parents may take some time, it’s okay. -Allison

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a unique child of God. Lift your head up. The only answer that really matters is the one you get from your Heavenly Parents, ask them to guide and teach you. Follow their guidance. I promise, if you reach out to them - you will feel their deep love and concern for you. Never let ANYONE tell you that you don't fit, or that the gospel of Jesus Christ isn't for you! Lift your head up and keep it up! Others may not understand yet...but awareness & understanding are growing - someday they WILL! - Allison

The Church’s views have changed about LGBTQ+IA over the years, and may continue to evolve as the gospel continues to be restored. In the meantime, consider redirecting your child to God with these questions: “Do you feel God’s love for you? What does He want you to do?” Encourage your child to walk this walk with God. - Allison

Use preferred names and pronouns when talking to them and about them. Recognize that their gender expression is not a measure of their faith. Help them know that they are needed and belong – especially at church. Be a stone-catcher. - Allison

Give yourself time. Be gentle with yourself. You will doubtless see other parents of transgender kids who are doing it “better” or “worse” than you, as if you were being graded on a curve. But your journey is yours. Allow yourself both the time and the space to mourn the loss of the child you knew, and get to know this one that is in front of you now. Be open with your child about this, asking for patience and understanding. I remember saying, “you are going to need to be patient with me. I am going to stumble and make mistakes, but above all, I love you. And I am trying” - (response provided by an active Latter-day Saint mother, 50 years old)

“If a member decides to change his or her preferred name or pronouns of address, the name preference may be noted in the preferred name field on the membership record. The person may be addressed by the preferred name in the ward.” (General Handbook, 38.6.21) *The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

You don’t need to agree with (or totally understand) someone to be a safe place for them. I safe place looks like an open heart and curious mind. It says, “Help me understand where you’re coming from. What is it like to be you?” Only you get to decide what the rainbow represents to you. It may mean different things to different people, but for you, it may be simply a symbol of support and love. Period. You can’t control if other people choose to disagree or misinterpret your intentions. Don’t wait until you’ve got all the answers - go ahead and show your support and love for people around you in any way you feel comfortable. One of the MOST helpful things you can do is be OK with not knowing all the answers. This place of “not knowing” is fertile ground for unconditional love. - Allison

If the light is not shining from within our LGBTQ (or any) members, it could be that we are not reflecting the light of Christ on them! Comments like this cast judgment and do not lift or show love. We have to do better. -Allison

You can express your concerns and inform your husband how you are going to handle the situation, but know & respect that your husband is on his own journey. The relationship your husband and child have is between them- you can’t control it. However, because of the natural power imbalance between parent and child, you may want to consider family therapy so your child’s voice can be heard. Therapy might also prove beneficial in terms of psychoeducation around the transgender experience.

First, recognize the opportunity you’re giving your children to love all kinds of people. This is such a gift!

Second, start at the beginning. Explain to your kids that when a person’s body parts do not match their perceived gender, this person may use the term transgender or nonbinary to describe themselves.

Share your personal journey simply and optimistically. Your honesty gives them permission to be authentic about whatever they’re grappling with now or in the future.

Convey that we know two things: God loves us and there’s a plan of happiness for everyone. “I don’t know how this is all going to work out, but I know it will. The important thing is that you know I’m ok and I’ll always be here for you."

Parents don’t need to have all the answers to raise secure, confident human beings. Transparency, love, and the notion that “we’re in this together” helps kids feel safe.

This short video (created by a group of gender-diverse young people) explains why pronouns are important to them, and gives tips for adjusting to new pronouns. This video may help: https://youtu.be/3xpvricekxU!